At this rate, it seems I am averaging about a post a year. Not too bad for an INFP in college ;).
It is now the last day of March 2014. In some ways, it seems it was yesterday that I sat in Cafe Libro, watching people and thinking those tumbling thoughts. But today I feel like that Ashlyn is something out of a dream, and that a new person is emerging--a stretching and growing caterpillar in a chrysalis, whose body has been liquified to create those tenacious wings. Right now, I don't think that the change is all good. It's true--my mind has been confused, my heart has bowed to aching desires that bring a greater emptiness, my pride has been my crutch. But a glimpse of hope: the caterpillar, squished into the cocoon, cannot see the beauty it will be. There is no beauty or understandable direction in the liquified body matter, and the caterpillar cannot will itself to be whole.
God will "keep me from stumbling, and present me blameless at the coming of my Lord Jesus Christ".
Oh Lord, help my unbelief!
Keep me from lying to myself, and help me to rest in you.
