Sigh...
I see now that all my "righteousness", all my attempts at goodness and getting the right answer, are filthy rags. It's only Jesus' blood, his perfect sacrifice that makes me even able to do 1 "good thing". I rebel against this--because I don't understand, because I don't know how to have faith. I despair because I think that I can't have the Father pleased with me, so I might as well just try to make people happy.
But I can't. And he is the one I want and long for.
But I've ignored and hated and despised his grace.
Can I come back?
Can the dry soil bear fruit?
Only with Him.
Lord, create in me a new heart--give me a heart of flesh because of your grace. Help me to surrender this pride and control of my "goodness" to you.
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